Positive Mindset, Inspiring Life

“I’ve had a really blessed life,” Debby Weinstein said as we spoke in the home she shared with her late husband of 65 years, Dr. Ira Weinstein (OBM). “Everything I thought was bad at the time turned out to be OK. That outlook, which I learned from my dad, brought me through my latest challenges.”

More on those challenges, which Debby is bravely persevering through, later. But first, let’s start from the beginning.

Debby was born to Harry and Marilyn Stern (OBM) in 1933. “I was truly blessed to have the most wonderful parents,” she said fondly. Debby and her younger sister, Sonia “Sunny” Makleff, who lives in Israel, grew up in Nashville.

Fast-forward to college, when Debby and Ira met in what can only be described as beshert. In the early 1950s, Debby, who was president of Hillel, and Ira were studying at the University of Illinois. Sadly, Ira’s dad had passed away. When Ira came back to school after shiva in Chicago, he happened to be walking by the Hillel House. Already a graduate student, Ira had never gone inside. This time, though, he went in to say Kaddish for his dad. He also ended up playing “Claire de Lune” on a piano inside.

“I introduced myself, and the rest is history!” said Debby of the encounter that led to the couple marrying in 1954 in Nashville. “I had a wonderful marriage.”

From there, they went on a journey across several states for Ira’s career opportunities. First in Maryland, where Ira was stationed at a scientific Army base during the Korean War. “Being an Army wife was fun,” remembered Debby. Their first two kids, Joe and Marc, were born in Frederick.

The family then moved to Nashville, when Rabbi Zalman Posner at Congregation Sherith Israel “made a shidduch” between Ira and a member of Rabbi’s chavrusa (study group). Ira became a post doc assistant professor at Vanderbilt University. “We had our third son, David, then,” Debby shared. “Being close to my parents was wonderful.”

The Weinstein family also spent a year living in Israel in 1965, when Ira earned a sabbatical grant from the American Heart Association, while at Vanderbilt.

Life then took the family to the University of Florida in Gainesville

Debby served as president of Hadassah – then to the University of Missouri in Columbia, where Debby worked as an American Cancer Society (ACS) field representative.

With a bachelor’s in sociology and economics from U. of Illinois, Debby had also been a copy editor and then a publishing firm’s office manager. She wanted back in the editor role, but because she was such a successful office manager, it didn’t happen. “So, I quit and went back to school to become a counselor,” explained Debby of earning her master’s in social work in aging studies from Mizzou. “It turned out to be such a good fit, so natural. I volunteered to help form a hospice group in Columbia, and people were always coming to me for advice; they trusted me.”

Her previous work with the ACS later proved useful in an unexpected way: Her mom was diagnosed with cancer and given four months to live. So, Debby stayed with her parents in Nashville, making all the oncology calls and explaining what was happening in an understandable way to her folks. “This must be why I worked at ACS – I was able to be there for my mother. Everything connected,” she said. “Mom passed in 1980.”

“What can I say about my mother?” shared son David Weinstein. “She’s the warmest, kindest person I know. Her love not only encompasses her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, but also the Memphis Jewish community.”

Finally for their forever home, Ira landed a teaching job at the University of Tennessee Health Science Center in Memphis. “The move to Memphis in 1981 was one of the best things that ever happened,” said Debby. “We were still close to my dad in Nashville to spend Shabbos with him sometimes.”

Debby first worked at the Midtown Mental Health Center. She loved helping her clients, though the Jewish community was her calling. “I then worked in family therapy at Jewish Family Service for nearly 30 years. I wasn’t an admin, because I loved the people, my clients,” she explained. “I flourished there.”

“Bubbie to her grandchildren and great-grandchildren, Mom has taught her family many important values,” said son Dr. Marc Weinstein. “Her love of Israel and Jewish communities has no bounds. You’re never too old to learn new things or change your behavior if you don’t like the outcome. She’s shown all of us the importance of family and sharing the good times as well as the bad times. She’s modeled the importance of hospitality to family, friends, and strangers who need a warm meal and sympathetic ear.”

Debby’s challenges referred to earlier are quite extreme — she’s lost most of her eyesight and some of her hearing. In 2022 she dealt with a medical condition; radiation to treat it caused her eyesight to wane. While that was happening, she became very ill with an infection.

“I’m the oldest child, always in control. I didn’t want anyone to take care of me. I did everything myself, even cutting my hair. I thought, ‘This is going to be really hard,’” she said of that difficult time. “But, I discovered that it’s nice for someone to pick out my clothes and help dress me. It’s easy to get used to being treated like a queen – it took just 48 hours for me to realize that!”

In January 2024, Debby “came back to herself.”

“I decided I’ve got to get better. I made up my mind: Giving up is not an option. I started exercising again and kept getting better.

I decided if food drops out of my mouth or I look weird, I’m still going places, like shul or the JCC. People are always very nice to me,” Debby said. “My dad, who saw his dad killed in a pogrom in Poland, later succeeded in America. He taught us: If you’re on a path and see an obstacle, either let it knock you down or climb on top and use it as a steppingstone to see a new horizon. Dad was a good man with an amazing attitude. I was born with that attitude.”

Losing eyesight isn’t easy for anyone. Especially for a voracious reader whose favorite hobby is reading – from fiction to magazines and newspapers. Debby’s other hobbies include cooking, entertaining, traveling, playing bridge, exercising, and of course, family time.

“I’m grateful I can see some. I know what room I’m in, I can get my walker or know that someone is in the room. It is scary, though,” added Debby. “Giving up reading wasn’t easy. I now listen to books on tape. I wake up each morning with some joy: I can see shadows, not all black.”

Debby wants to remind people that you can change – even at the age of 91. It’s all about mindset. “It’s not that I’ve been ‘lucky;’ my life is truly a blessing, and it’s my attitude: Every day could be the last but also the first to discover something or do something wonderful,” Debby shared. “I live each day looking for joy – it doesn’t happen every day, but friends tell a nice story that’s today’s joy or my granddaughter gets an A.”

“Mom’s always been interested in the rights of the underprivileged, even marching in the 1950s to help get African Americans the right to vote. No matter where she went, her house was always open to students and the underprivileged. Her mother’s gravestone reads ‘Open Heart, Open Home,’ and she’s gone in her mother’s footsteps in every community she’s been in. She’s always giving,” said son Dr. Joe Weinstein. “Every month or two, someone will tell me how Mom helped their family during difficult times. She’s now taken on her own challenges with a great attitude. She has a disability, but it’s not stopping her. That’s such a tremendous quality.”

Always tenacious, Debby made her own card deck with stickers to feel instead of see, thanks to a friend’s help.

She never coasts, rather always works toward goals. “I think I’ve affected people in a good way,” she shared. “I’m just me, and I want to inspire others.”

The joy of Debby’s life has been her family: three sons, 16 grandchildren, nine great-grandchildren. “I’m grateful for my amazing family, friends, and those who’s been kind and considerate,” she said.